This story (4 min read) has been brewing in my head for over a year now. I have been regularly training a very unusual type of martial arts that has taught me how to be a human being all over again. I hope you like it, thank you for stopping by.

Disclaimer: the creators, products, or establishments mentioned are my sincere personal opinions. None of them are paid advertisements. Please consult with your physician before undertaking any new sport or regular practice.

Part 1 of 2: Call to arms: How did I get into Jiu-jitsu?

Back in time: 2021, Covid vaccine mostly rolled out and restrictions lifting. Up until that point, I had packed my life with the textbook definition of “self-care”: meditation, yoga, plant-based nutrition, and therapy, which are all necessary in their own right; I was, however, having this annoying feeling of being stuck in life.

I reached out for Uncle Google with inspirational search words like: “life advice” or “self-confidence”. Nothing resonated, so I kept trying. Search words then morphed into “women´s self-confidence” which got me into an interesting alternate rabbit hole: “women´s self-defense” and it was like a light switch was flipped inside my head.

When you Google something in English, most of the results are about American websites, articles, or blogs. I landed in a bunch of women´s online magazine articles referring to something called “Gracie University” (with HQ in Torrance, California). Those women-inspired references linked to a very specific program called “Women Empowered” which is meant to be for beginners. The articles referred to a martial art I´ve vaguely heard of before: “Jiu-Jitsu” and specifically the Brazilian style. I had no idea how it could link to women´s self-defense.

Next layer of the rabbit hole search: YouTube videos. The most watched “Gracie University” + “women´s self-defense” were about basic techniques executed by relatively smaller and novice people. I was extremely skeptical but intrigued. Curiosity being my second name, I wanted to see if there was a Gracie University location near me that I could experience first-hand, so I took a deeper look.

“Locations” tab: this is where it gets interesting!
Country: Germany = a bunch of hits, nice!
City: Düsseldorf, boom!

What appeared as a high-level certified location for Gracie University, had a link that re-directed me to a local martial arts school. Although the entire website is in German, I understood there was a free trial lesson, which felt perfect for just “giving it a try”.

I looked at the Head Instructor´s CV posted at this website. Decades in multiple martial arts, many competitions, many belts of everything in every color imaginable and accolades from international organizations. His mug shot showed this smiling paradox of a man: bad ass looks and at the same time interestingly magnetic… almost like you want to know more about him.

Again, fueled by curiosity I wrote him an inquiry email. After a few days the Head Instructor replied: “Just show up”. That´s it, nothing else, no answers to the questions I had. I wrote a second desperate email: “what clothes should I wear? are there different groups to train with? is it ok that I don’t speak German very well?” There was no second reply. “Just show up” was all I had to go on…

Image source: my own hand-drawn cartoons! :)

Saturday afternoon, I chose to have my free trial lesson. The venue had a small but cosy reception, two locker rooms, an entryway with piled flipflops as the intro to a large hangar-like space with floor-to-ceiling windows and domed skylights, which allowed tons of natural light giving art studio vibes. Some training gear tucked in a corner, a modest boxing ring on the other corner. The floor covered with soft mats and a scattering of a dozen barefoot men dressed in what looked like pajamas.

OMG I freaked out; I was about to run away but something stopped me on my tracks… I could feel someone looking at me. Standing like a little mouse, frozen, I locked eyes with the Head Instructor. He made a gesture for me to leave my shoes at the entrance and sit at a corner of the mats. I waited for a few minutes in absolute horror. “Where the hell are the women? There are no women here! I am the only one!”

The enigmatic character sat next to me. Between my broken German and his English, we managed to understand each other well enough. He asked the reason for being there: “to gain more self-confidence” I replied nervously. He nodded knowing that I had ended up there looking to learn self-defense as well and added with absolute certainty: “all women should know how to defend themselves with their backs on the ground”.

That landed on my head like a ton of bricks on how obvious it was. For any type of assault or even a street fight, the likelihood the victim ends up on the ground is extremely high. Think about this: What would you do if you must defend yourself while fallen and the attacker is towering over you?

I was asked to lay with my back to the ground and unprompted, Head Instructor got on top of me, gently wrapping his hands around my neck. I was paralyzed. “There is a stranger on top of me and… is he fake-choking me?”

He calmly asked: “try to get out, try to escape”. One does whatever your instinct has stored over the years: frantically push, try to wiggle out, try-to very unsuccessfully do anything at all. He did not move an inch and I was already out of breath.

Sensing my frustration and reading my thoughts, he instructed: “put your hand here, hold my arm like this, block here with your left foot, lift your hips, and roll to your left”. Woop! I escaped. “Wait. What?!” Stunned I said something like: “Naaaah! this is not possible, you just let me go”.

Smiling through my skepticism, we tried again. “No way. This works for real?!” I was hooked. I was ready to dive in.